1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,376
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:02,836
(ALARM RINGING)

3
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,889
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,663
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZING)

5
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,915
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:47,506
(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

7
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,977
Wow, Louis, nice suit of armor.

8
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,228
Well, thanks.

9
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,397
Oh, you look so cool.

10
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,690
Thank you, Tawny.

11
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,612
Twitty, ever since I saw
the thing on the Internet

12
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,156
it's been my dream to
get that suit of armor.

13
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,117
(RUSTLING)

14
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,387
Yeah, but how are you
going to go to the bathroom?

15
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,051
Well, it's got to have, like,
a trapdoor or something.

16
00:01:19,075 --> 00:01:20,765
If not, we'll sew in a
zipper. It's not a big deal.

17
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,041
Twitty, it's a suit of armor.

18
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,294
The thing has
endless possibilities.

19
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,754
<i>Say you're having dinner, right</i>

20
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,382
<i>and your dad spills
scalding-hot minestrone on you.</i>

21
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:34,595
Oh, my gosh, that
minestrone's scalding hot!

22
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,180
Thank goodness you thought
to get that suit of armor.

23
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,769
But, the guy who's selling it...

24
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,772
He's making these
outrageous demands.

25
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:46,732
(RUSTLING)

26
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:47,959
He wants you to pay for it, huh?

27
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,151
That's a bummer, man.

28
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,136
Twitty, someone's
been watching us.

29
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,236
Where?

30
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,864
No, listen, listen,
stop looking!

31
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,947
He's over there.

32
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,575
On the count of three.

33
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,702
One, two...

34
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,957
There he is! Aha!

35
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,125
We found him!

36
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,669
(SCREAMING)

37
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,969
REN: Okay, um...

38
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,639
I guess we'll get started

39
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,724
even though we're
short one short person.

40
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,561
Um, on Saturday
several of my girlfriends

41
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,090
they will be
sleeping over, and...

42
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,648
Hey guys, I'm starving

43
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,459
so I'm going to fire up
a batch of corn chalupas

44
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,610
so, man, if you guys
want some, right here.

45
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,863
You are late. Grab a chair.

46
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,782
Wait, is this fair?

47
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,200
I would do what she says.

48
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,700
What!?

49
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,330
Hmm, a slumber party.

50
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,915
Boy, that really takes me back.

51
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,918
(CHUCKLES)
Slumber party, no, no.

52
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,002
(LAUGHS)

53
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,338
A slumber party is for
two-year-olds, Mom. Um...

54
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,924
This is a young
women's all-night forum.

55
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,134
Sorry, my bad.

56
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,261
Paragraph three:

57
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,681
"Parents are prohibited
from using 'hip' lingo."

58
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,308
I'll make sure
she keeps it real.

59
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,685
What?

60
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,354
Ren, you know what?

61
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,106
If you guys want any advice

62
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,482
on facials or makeovers.

63
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,567
I'm your man.

64
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,362
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

65
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,451
What are you doing?

66
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,413
I was making a quality
cucumber shake, here.

67
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,206
Not on my time.

68
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,793
Now, I love you all very much.

69
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,545
Dearly, yes, I do

70
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,964
but you're just not going to
be here on Saturday, okay?

71
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,172
Not a problem.

72
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,417
Your mom and I have tickets
to a chamber music concert.

73
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,620
DONNIE: Oh, I
won't be here either.

74
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:43,014
I have a date, so...
Good, this is great.

75
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,434
And you, cucumber boy...

76
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,479
Will definitely not be
here Saturday night.

77
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,733
Why would I want to be
around a bunch of lame girls?

78
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,110
Tell me, huh? I don't think so.

79
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,737
I'm sleeping at
Twitty's, thank you.

80
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,616
Twitty, what would you pay

81
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,740
to see how girls really act
when guys aren't around?

82
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,746
Probably like half
a million dollars.

83
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,469
Yeah, well, I'm
thinking, like, ten bucks.

84
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,291
Yeah, I don't have that either.

85
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,545
My friend, tickets
go on sale tomorrow

86
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,006
to see Ren and her pajama
buddies on closed circuit TV.

87
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,051
The title will be, "Welcome
to the Secret World of Girls."

88
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,928
- Sweet.
- Yeah.

89
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,598
Come Monday

90
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,433
I'll be clanking
down the hallway

91
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,598
in my shiny suit of armor.

92
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,370
Oh, dude, you know,
you should get, like

93
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,272
one of those white horses,
too, 'cause that'd be so sweet.

94
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,565
In time, buddy, in time.

95
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,527
- (WHISPERING) Twitty.
- What?

96
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,946
You know that kid?
He's in our window.

97
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,953
- He's in our window?
- Don't look, don't look.

98
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,992
Count of three, all right?

99
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,996
Be calm... One, two...

100
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,916
(SCREAMING)

101
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,125
Grab his little ankles!

102
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,961
- He's trying to bite my forehead!
- Oh, jeez!

103
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,925
Oh, wow, it's two tough guys

104
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,384
who caught a little kid.

105
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,886
Hey, we'll do
the talking, squirt.

106
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,888
Okay, so why were
you spying on us?

107
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,515
None of your beeswax.

108
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,226
Ohh... I hate kids that
say beeswax, man.

109
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,061
Yes, that's enough of that.

110
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,023
All right, kid, who you
working for, huh? Ren?

111
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,566
Principal Wexler, maybe?

112
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,776
Never heard of them.

113
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,736
- So where do you live, kid?
- In a house.

114
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,614
Oh, we got a little
wise guy here, do we?

115
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,450
I eat wise guys like you
for breakfast, all right?

116
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:26,785
Now, we got work to do

117
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,036
so why don't you go outside

118
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,621
and play with
your little friends?

119
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,746
Yeah.

120
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:31,706
I just moved here.

121
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,416
Can't I hang out with you guys?

122
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,126
I don't have any friends.

123
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,255
Aw, well then make up
some imaginary ones.

124
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,463
They never let you down.

125
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,425
Hey, you want to hear a joke?

126
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,385
No.

127
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,470
Okay, there's a pirate on a ship

128
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,681
and the ship was a
rockin' and a rollin'...

129
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,015
We said scram, twerp.

130
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,352
Fine, I don't need you guys.

131
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,271
(SOBBING)

132
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,231
Nobody likes me.

133
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,109
Dude, what'd you do, man?

134
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,318
You made the kid cry.

135
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:01,903
Oh, this kid's good.

136
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,864
This kid's real good.

137
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,158
This is one of the top three
fake cries I've ever heard

138
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,444
and two of them belong to me.

139
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,035
Thanks.

140
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,788
I've got skills.

141
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,414
Yeah.

142
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,419
What's your name, kid?

143
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,879
Bernard.

144
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,006
Bernard.

145
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,632
I don't like it.

146
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,758
Me neither.

147
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,221
Well, from now on,
your name is Beans.

148
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,474
Why Beans?

149
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,269
Kid, a nickname is not
supposed to be logical, see?

150
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,478
It's supposed to be fun.

151
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,522
Hey, just run with it, Beans.

152
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,358
Beans.

153
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,820
RUBY: <i>The girls are really
looking forward to this weekend.</i>

154
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,655
It's going to be so much fun.

155
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,739
I know.

156
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,491
And, as sort of party insurance

157
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,952
I've broken down the night
into manageable segments

158
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,663
or what I like to
call "fun modules."

159
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:54,956
Okay.

160
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,208
I just hope you don't have
anything boring planned

161
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,376
like a book discussion.

162
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,171
Now why would I do that?

163
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,718
Oh...

164
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,386
Can you help me here?

165
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,306
Okay, we need chips, we need
dip, we need tons of makeup.

166
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,599
We need to go shopping.

167
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,148
All right, Operation
Girl Watch begin.

168
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,233
Why do we want to watch girls?

169
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:23,985
(CHUCKLING)

170
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,403
Oh, kid...

171
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,114
Do you know what happens
when a boy becomes a man?

172
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:29,949
What?

173
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,619
Well, what happens...

174
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,665
Is this, my friend.

175
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,673
Gross!

176
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:46,675
Yep.

177
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,510
Okay.

178
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,262
Let's do this.

179
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,043
All right, come on.

180
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,672
Yeah, what's up, dude!

181
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,341
Beans, check this out.

182
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,760
What are you doing? Beans, no.

183
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,345
Stop that, Beans. Thank you.

184
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,139
Stop that, Beans.

185
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:35,849
Check it out, check it out!

186
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,434
Big pay-per-view.

187
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,103
See The Secret World of Girls!

188
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,856
Once in a lifetime,
get your flyers here!

189
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,525
Right here, check it out!

190
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,902
Oh, sorry, gentlemens only.

191
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,529
Check it out, check it out!

192
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,905
Big pay-per-view!

193
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,616
(DOORBELL RINGS)

194
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,290
Coming.

195
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,587
- Twitty.
- Hello, Ren.

196
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,314
I'm here to pick up Louis
and walk him to my house

197
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,138
where we spend the
night safely away from you.

198
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,215
Oh, hello, Alan.

199
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,028
Are you here to pick me up
and walk me back to your house

200
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,612
where I spend the night
safely away from Ren?

201
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,472
Yes, that is precisely
why I'm here.

202
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,431
Okay.

203
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,640
Okay, something's up.

204
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,436
Ren, when you can't trust
your own brother, this hurts.

205
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:22,978
Open the pack.

206
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,501
There is nothing in
my pack except for

207
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,958
a toothbrush and a
pair of fresh undies.

208
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,942
Or, it could possibly
be rolled-up newspaper

209
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:28,985
just to make me think that

210
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,559
you were going to go over
to his house, sleep over

211
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,063
then come back here
and ruin my party!

212
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,531
Ren, that is crazy talk.

213
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,659
- Ren...
- Let's just see about that, shall we?

214
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,540
What is this?

215
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,794
A toothbrush and a
pair of fresh undies, Ren.

216
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,463
Have to admit, this hurts.

217
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,521
Louis, the backpack,
fresh undies.

218
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,022
Man, that was a nice touch.

219
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,899
Twitty, I find myself

220
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,151
not only growing
older but wiser.

221
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,364
<i>Ren, I'm here.</i>

222
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,616
<i>This is going to be so much fun!</i>

223
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,784
(SQUEALING)

224
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,285
<i>Oh, my God, oh, my God!</i>

225
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,787
Oh, my God, Twitty!

226
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,705
This is going to be so much fun!

227
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,025
Is my shirt straight?
Am I looking...?

228
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,049
Yeah, you look good.

229
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,092
It's all ready.

230
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,343
What's up, man?

231
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,222
There you go.

232
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,265
Have fun.

233
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,433
Hello, gentlemen.

234
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,102
Welcome to the
Secret World of Girls.

235
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,479
Ten bucks a head, payable
to my associate, Mr. Twitty.

236
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,355
Enjoy yourselves.

237
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,024
Hey, guys. How's it going?

238
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,401
You guys can all just fill in

239
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,503
these seats right around here.

240
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,046
It should be a really
good good show tonight.

241
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,446
Yes. Hey, Ryan.

242
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,657
This better be good, Stevens.

243
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,740
Ryan, hey...

244
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,035
You may have arrived
here an angry young man

245
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,204
but trust me... you
will leave a happy one.

246
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,747
Have a seat... any seat.

247
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,126
Who should I make this out to?

248
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,962
You got your own
checking account, Tom?

249
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,338
You don't?

250
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,383
Hey, everyone.

251
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,218
I'd really like to welcome you

252
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,722
to my first annual Young
Women's All-Night Forum.

253
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,394
Or, as I like to call
it, a slumber party!

254
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,107
Whoo! You scared me
there for a second, Ren.

255
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,526
I had heard we were going
to do book discussions.

256
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,945
Oh, book disc...? No.

257
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,446
Who does that?

258
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,700
This looks like it's
going to be f-u-n, fun.

259
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,789
Oh, okay.

260
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,457
What shall we do first?

261
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:49,659
Give each other oatmeal masks

262
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,169
<i>or play "Light as a Feather"?</i>

263
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,131
Hear that, guys?
"Light as a Feather."

264
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,382
What is that?

265
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,427
Come on, you know.

266
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,595
"Feathers." "Babes."

267
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,430
Come on, you do
the math. (LAUGHS)

268
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,683
REN: (ON TV) <i>Okay,
everyone let's go upstairs.</i>

269
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,978
Oh, no, don't go upstairs.

270
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,731
Hey, where are all
the ladies going?

271
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,233
ALL: Yeah!

272
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,195
Man, I didn't pay ten bucks
to watch an empty room.

273
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,696
ALL: Yeah! Yeah!

274
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,073
Uh...

275
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,658
Guys, chill out!

276
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:22,908
Just chill out.

277
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,369
They're probably upstairs.

278
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,787
They'll be back down, man.

279
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,331
In the meantime, help
yourself to some fondue.

280
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,415
Forget the food.

281
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,625
Where are the girls?

282
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,253
Yeah. Bring on the babes.

283
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,630
ALL: (CHANTING) Babes! Babes!

284
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,631
Great news!

285
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,676
My mom said I could
stay here as long as I want!

286
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,811
Beans, how did u get
past the electric fence?

287
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,555
Louis... Beans,
get out of my house!

288
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,408
You got to do something, okay?

289
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,032
'Cause they're turning
into an angry mob.

290
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,186
- Okay? Okay?
- All right, I got you.

291
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,981
All right. Hey.

292
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,607
Hey, you guys like card tricks?

293
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,738
Was this your card?

294
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,905
No.

295
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:04,951
Is that your card?

296
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,034
No.

297
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,661
All right.

298
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,622
This one for sure, guys, huh?

299
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,375
Is that your card?

300
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,919
No, and you've been
through the deck twice.

301
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,630
The babes are back.

302
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,970
Hmm. Wardrobe change.

303
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,307
<i>Okay, let's play
a game, shall we?</i>

304
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,768
<i>Okay, this is called</i>
"College Interview."

305
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,645
Now, I will be the
Dean of Admissions

306
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,814
and you guys will be
the hopeful applicants.

307
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:37,942
(DOORBELL RINGS)

308
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,486
Oh, that must be
the chancellor now.

309
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,744
Hey. What's up?

310
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,912
Um... I was just wondering
if Louis was home.

311
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,706
No, no, no. He's
over at Twitty's.

312
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,417
Oh, I was... I was
just over there

313
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,585
and nobody's home.

314
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:59,339
<i>Hmm. That's highly suspicious.</i>

315
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,224
<i>They probably went out
for pizza or something.</i>

316
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,679
<i>Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's hope so.</i>

317
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,222
<i>Come here.</i>

318
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,937
Dude, that was close, man.

319
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,104
Yes.

320
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,398
(CLEARS THROAT)

321
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,567
Yeah, so, a couple
of the girls are over.

322
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,818
You want to hang out?

323
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,612
Yeah. Sure. Why not?

324
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,530
Hey, guys, you know Tawny.

325
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:25,947
Hey, Tawny.

326
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,032
Hi.

327
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,702
So, Ren, we found another game.

328
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,622
It's called "The One Thing You
Would Never Want a Boy to Know."

329
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,166
We all go around the room,
and we say the one thing

330
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,627
<i>that would be totally
humiliating if a boy ever heard it.</i>

331
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,921
(CHEERING)

332
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,173
Come on.

333
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,342
(BOYS CHEERING)

334
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,844
(CHEERING)

335
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,972
Dude, this is gold.

336
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,265
That suit of armor is mine.

337
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,143
<i>Tawny, you're new. Go first.</i>

338
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,104
<i>Okay. Um...</i>

339
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,857
<i>Okay, this is really,
really</i> really gross

340
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:05,655
but I can belch really,
really, really loud.

341
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:07,949
Do it.

342
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,034
Okay. Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)

343
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,831
(LOUD BELCH)

344
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,707
(BELCH CONTINUES)

345
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,921
(BOYS GROANING DISGUSTEDLY)

346
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,588
She's awesome.

347
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,883
<i>Okay, okay, okay, Monique.</i>

348
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,051
<i>Your turn.</i>

349
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,846
<i>Well, I once had this dream</i>

350
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,849
<i>that I was on a desert
island with Ryan Sailpepper.</i>

351
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,434
Dude, that's you, man.

352
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:35,685
I know, shut up.

353
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,812
MONIQUE: (ON TV) <i>Okay, anyway...</i>

354
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,272
<i>I can't believe I'm saying this</i>

355
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,065
<i>but there we were, stranded.</i>

356
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,735
<i>So, finally, we turn
to each other and...</i>

357
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,362
(AUDIO DROPS OUT)

358
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,529
BOYS: What? What?

359
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,282
ALL: (GROANING) No!

360
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,950
What happened to the sound?

361
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,952
Yeah, what's up with that?

362
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,120
Well?

363
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,372
Guys...

364
00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,709
Gentlemen, we are experiencing

365
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,002
some technical difficulties

366
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,337
but, uh, I assure you
that the problem will be

367
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,007
diagnosed and corrected.

368
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,010
Sacramento, we have a problem.

369
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,638
What is going on?

370
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,032
Somebody must have
bumped the cable.

371
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,057
What cable?

372
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,642
The one right there.

373
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,019
(STATIC CRACKLES)

374
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,605
Guys, it's just a wire problem.

375
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,441
All she needs to be
is plugged in, that's all.

376
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,127
Oh, yeah, right,
Louis, like you're just

377
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,068
going to waltz in there in front

378
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,487
of all those girls
and plug it in?

379
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,863
Shut up, kid.

380
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,032
Louis is trying to think.

381
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,202
What are you thinking?

382
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,101
REN: All right,
girls, cucumber time.

383
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,831
I don't have any on me.

384
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,459
(MARTIAL DRUM BEAT PLAYS)

385
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,004
(STIRRING MILITARY MARCH PLAYS)

386
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,884
I'm thinking about
a secret mission.

387
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,220
And there's only one
man right for the job.

388
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,848
Is he a young boy
about... my size?

389
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,934
Beansy, you're always one step

390
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,059
ahead of me, buddy.

391
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,144
Okay.

392
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,648
This is our ventilation system.

393
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,192
This is your starting point.

394
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,527
You'll walk through here

395
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,962
up through here,
down through here.

396
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:09,986
That's the easy part.

397
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,324
Well, you all know Stacey
Havansau's little brother, Mike?

398
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,454
Well, last summer, he and
I went to summer camp...

399
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,122
LOUIS: Guys, slow down.

400
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,124
Guys, easy. Guys, easy.

401
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,670
No, Beans, no.

402
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:26,921
Beans, no!

403
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,465
(GIRL MURMURS)

404
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,678
Brassy, very brassy.

405
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,146
RUBY: <i>well, that's what
happened with me and Mike.</i>

406
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,232
TAWNY: Wow, that's really great.

407
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:47,357
<i>Yeah, that's so sweet.</i>

408
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,317
<i>That is sweet.</i>

409
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,570
<i>You know, if guys
understood that</i>

410
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,280
<i>then they would
understand everything.</i>

411
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,632
<i>- Oh, yeah, definitely.</i>
- REN:<i> I know.</i>

412
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,699
(APPLAUSE)

413
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,325
All right. Yeah, Beans.

414
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,719
Way to go, Beans.
That's the way, dude.

415
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,743
I'll never forget this.
You're one of the guys now.

416
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:00,829
Thanks, Louis.

417
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:01,913
Yes, sir.

418
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:03,832
(SIGHS) Oh, all right.

419
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,168
Okay, back to the joke.

420
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,879
So, the ship was
a-rocking and a-rolling.

421
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,023
And I fell off the ship...

422
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,687
Hey, Stevens, this
kid is freaking me out.

423
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,360
- I want my money back.
- Beans, hit the road.

424
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:14,704
You're freaking
out the customers.

425
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,720
- But you said...
- Twitty!

426
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,804
I'm on it.

427
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,139
You can't do this to me.

428
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,849
You said I was one of the guys.

429
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,012
Beans, it's nothing
personal. It's strictly business.

430
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,811
Be quiet! They're
playing "Rate the Guys."

431
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,104
RUBY: (ON TV) <i>Okay, so...</i>

432
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,232
<i>on a scale of one to
ten, Tom Gribalski?</i>

433
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,735
Come on, ladies,
show me a seven.

434
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,237
<i>Okay, you're not
going to believe this</i>

435
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,531
<i>but I would give Tom
a...</i> (DOORBELL RINGS)

436
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,908
Curse the timing!

437
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,118
REN: (ON TV) <i>I'll get it.</i>

438
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,911
<i>Excuse me.</i>

439
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,079
(GIRLS GIGGLING)

440
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,502
Hey, uh, what's
Beans doing there?

441
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,505
Why did he just do that?

442
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,218
I.. I'm a four. I... I know it.

443
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,637
No, Beans.

444
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,477
No, Beans! Don't do it, Beans.

445
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,812
(INAUDIBLE)

446
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,364
Where did the girls go?

447
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,415
Run!

448
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,585
Let me out!

449
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,836
No! Let me out!

450
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,963
Let me out! Let me out!

451
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,384
Let me out!

452
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,718
REN: No, you don't.

453
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:38,969
Oh, no, you don't.

454
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,888
(SCREAMS)

455
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,390
Come back here. Sit down.

456
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:43,808
Sit down. Sit down.

457
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,685
- All right, all right.
- Sit! Sit!

458
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,561
- Okay, I'm...
- No! Sit down.

459
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,896
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

460
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,856
Hello, ladies, how
are you today?

461
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,442
"Secret World of Girls?"

462
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,463
I've never seen
that before in my life.

463
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,030
Ladies?

464
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:02,076
We are going to play
the most fun game ever.

465
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:03,952
(LOUIS GRUNTS)

466
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:07,872
Hi.

467
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,543
Oh, hey, Mom, how
was the symphony?

468
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,951
Well, the only symphony I
heard was your father snoring.

469
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,172
Well, at least I was in tune.

470
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,631
Hey, how was your party?

471
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,174
Well?

472
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,762
We're giving Louise
here a makeover.

473
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,096
Yep.

474
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,474
She is going to be a new woman.

475
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,475
EILEEN: I'm sure

476
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,561
she's just going to
turn out beautifully.

477
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,563
Uh, if you need
anything, we'll be upstairs.

478
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,691
- Honey.
- Oh, good night. Kisses.

479
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,067
(MUFFLED CRIES)

480
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,700
MONIQUE: Ren, I had my
doubts, but you sure know how

481
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,326
- to throw a slumber party.
- Mmm.

482
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,453
Girls, wait!

483
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:46,954
This is cruel and inhuman.

484
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,079
(MUFFLED) Yes, it is.

485
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,415
Yes, and so fun.

486
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,250
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Take it off me.

487
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,544
Oh, oh, what's
that, little brother?

488
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,130
You want another facial, huh?

489
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,090
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

490
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,384
Coming right up.

491
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,512
(MUFFLED CRIES)

492
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,436
Ah...!

493
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,025
And I had a great
time tonight, too.

494
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,194
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)

495
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,154
Hey, Lou?

496
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,798
Don't keep that stuff
on your face too long

497
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,532
you'll get real itchy, okay?

498
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,036
Hey, can I call you back when
I get done brushing my teeth?

499
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,838
I'm sorry I ratted you out.

500
00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,552
I'd untie you, but I know
you'd really hurt me.

501
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,179
(MUFFLED CRIES)

502
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,348
You want to hear a joke?

503
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:48,349
(MUMBLES)

504
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,892
Okay, there was a
pirate on the ship.

505
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,311
And the ship was
a-rocking and a-rolling.

506
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,522
And I fell off me ship.

507
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,817
And a killer whale
came and bit off me leg.

508
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,569
And I said to him,
"How'd you get the hook?"

509
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:01,946
And he said...

510
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,116
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)